I’m honored to be a Sisterhood of Motherhood partner, a sponsored blog partner this year. Thanks to the support of #unitemonday, I’m trying hard to stop judging myself for my mommy slip ups and you should, too!
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been terrible at comparing myself to others. It goes back to middle school when I was comparing my sense of style to my peers. Then, in high school, I was comparing my figure to all of the petite girls. This fueled a low self-esteem in an already challenging environment. Ouch. After college, it turned to comparing my occupation with others (she works for NASA, she runs her own business, she’s traveling the world, etc.).
Then, after years of battling infertility (all the while being very angry at my friends who were easily getting pregnant…why did I do that?!?) I got pregnant and was on cloud nine. Pretty soon the comparisons snuck back in. It became all about comparing how good of a parent I was and being judgmental about my own parenting!
Stop. Just stop. I have to just stop!
Sometimes the shit hits the fan, literally (or at least it’s hit the walls in my house), and you just have to move forward.
Just take a deep breathe, regroup and tell yourself it’s going to be okay. No one is perfect, even though it may look like it sometimes. It doesn’t help that with the birth of social media, other people’s lives through photos may look perfect. They’re not, trust me. Everyone is just putting the best of themselves online for everyone to see, because who doesn’t like to seem perfect? I know I don’t!
Even if I’m not comparing myself to others, I still have self-judgmental feelings creep back in.
You see, when I first had Liam, I felt like it was my job to be as perfect of a parent as possible. I read all of these parenting books and had all of these rules in my mind that we would follow to parent him the best that we thought possible. Still to this day, I like sticking to a routine and following through with the rules that we’ve set up. I feel like that keeps us all honest and the day predictable.
Butttt…there’s always a but (or butt…we’re potty training)… since we’ve added to our family with the birth of our second child, life has been a little crazier. It’s been especially crazy because my husband is insanely busy with work and going back to school. Because of all the craziness, it’s hard for me to always stick to the rules. No day is perfect and sometimes we all just need to let down our hair (or else I’d pull it all out…oh wait, it’s all falling out post baby anyway…ugh).
As a fun little weekend treat, I let our 3 year old decorate his pancakes with chocolate and sprinkles (yes, I have a 7 pound jug of sprinkles…from the baby sprinkle!) instead of the usual mound of berries. Then, on Sunday, he asked for the same thing. And you know what? I let him. Because, well why not? He was so cute.
He said, “Pleeeeease cancakes pinkles NNNs”, all with his hands folded like he was praying and begging all at the same time. How could I not? So, I did.
Then, comes Monday again and I can’t let him have straight up candy for breakfast every morning. I broke the rules over the weekend and I feel terrible. How do I explain it to a toddler who doesn’t understand days of the week?
Now that I think about it, I’m breaking all sorts of rules that we set for our kids because, well, life is hard and I could use a little more screen time for my kids on the weekends.
Instead of feeling guilty about my rule breaking over the weekend, I’m joining the Sisterhood of Motherhood and celebrating #UniteMonday. Every Monday follow the hashtag #UniteMonday and share any of your rules you bent over the weekend. We won’t judge. We get it. We’re all in it together.
Now, let’s all eat sprinkles: