As we end one year and begin another, I can’t help but to reflect on this past year. I became a mother of two juggling children, the house and my blog, all of which required more time than I gave them. Throughout the year, after putting the children to bed, I would start the same conversation over and over again with my husband. The conversation would always begin with, “I’m half-a$$ing all of my jobs: my children, the house, my blog.” Every conversation would end knowing that I had to cut back on something, and I would cry myself to sleep mulling over the tough decisions.
I had to reprioritize.
My children deserved a more attentive mom and not a mom that stuck them in front of a television all day. My family needed a more balanced home life where the house would be clean and there was healthy foods in the fridge (not a house that had 5 loads of laundry to fold and pizza night… again).
My blog, my passion, my outlet: YOU needed desperate attention and not the neglect and scarce posting compared to years past.
I felt like I was letting everyone down.
I tried brainstorming every possibility to maximize my time and love. But, try as I might, my heart kept pulling in the direction of my children. I’m a mother and they come first (well, my husband comes first, but they are a VERY close second). The kitchen sink can stay dirty for one more day and my blog can wait another week. I will NEVER get the time back with my children and will NEVER get a second chance to be there for them in this moment. The dishes and dust can always wait and I’ve learned that my toddler LOVES to clean as much as I do, so that’s a job we can do together! And the business is what I make it and right now it’s time for me to pull back a little. The blog is the thing I continue for me and we all know mommies need their “me time.” But, right now, I need to love on my children.
When I prioritized my blog over my children, there were months of constant tantrums from Liam. I read books about toddlers and tried my best to balance everything going that was going on.
Then, one day I took away the iPad and the television and prioritized quality time with my children. We got out of the house. We went on adventures! It only took two days and everything changed. It was all a matter of companionship. Their entire way of living, behavior and smiles are a reflection of how much they feel loved. Their attention shifted from the mindless electronic babysitter to quality time with mommy. The more I played cars with Liam or made funny faces in the mirror with Hayden, the more they smiled and giggled. They felt loved.
Since making the big decision to be a mom over all of my other jobs, my children have blossomed with smiles. Now, after I put the children to bed at night, I smile and remember all of the fun times we had that day. There’s no more crying myself to sleep; it’s all smiles. I’m grateful to be a stay-at-home mom and that’s what I plan to do more of. When I’m at home, I’m AT home. We’re playing, we’re baking, we’re taking pictures (yes, Liam has his very own camera now) and we’re loving each other. This is the time. This is the year. This is my priority.
This is not to say that I am abandoning the house or the blog. Not one bit. You’ll be happy to know that my house is still cleaned on a regular basis (why didn’t anyone ever tell me how much pee would make it outside of the toilet with a boy?) and I have been doing a lot of behind the scenes changes to the blog. There are exciting things ahead and I’m tickled to share them with you!
Until then, know this: I have made the big monetary decision to conclude almost all of my ambassadorships and sponsorships (the things that help pay the bills, allowing me to continue to bring you great things!). I want the new year to be all about the quality and passion. I want to share things with you that I truly want to share. I want you to be excited about seeing what’s new on Chocolate & Carrots. I want to be your friend, be part of your community and love life together.
Stay tuned because 2016 is going to be filled with great things!